[Frederica-l] "Crunchy Cons" blog

[Frederica at aol.com]

Yesterday Rod Dreher posted on his blog on Beliefnet.com, "Crunchy Cons," the 
piece I sent out the other day about the journey from Anglican to Orthodox. 
He asked people to write in telling what triggered them to leave a church or a 
belief, or what caused them to decide to stay despite difficulties. Its been a 
good discussion. I just posted this, which is so long I thought I'd send it 
to my list, too! 
 
********
 

Thanks, Rod, for posting this and launching a strong conversation. 
 
Daniel, thanks for this: <<Why, after 16 years, does Matthews-Green still 
talk about her difference with the Episcopal church and use it as a way to covert 
people to her little corner of Orthodoxy? >>
 
As Rod points out, I keep talking abt it bec people keep asking about it. 
They also ask what's the difference between Orthodoxy and Western Christianity, 
so I spend a lot of time explaining that, too -- and in the process, offending 
and angering people. I am sad to think that I have probably damaged some 
friendships that way. No matter how kindly you put it, you're inevitably saying, 
"here are the differences, and here is why I think Orthodoxy is better" -- 
that's inevitable.  
 
BTW, I was thinking of writing an essay titled "Why Converts to Orthodoxy are 
Obnoxious." I think it's pretty much parallel to the reason adolescents are 
obnoxious. They are trying to comprehend their unique identity, and trying to 
establish it in the face of--not hostility, which would be hard but at least 
bracing and clarifying, but *affection*, which is a lot more sticky. Grandmom 
and Pops and Uncle Joe et al love the little guy, who's "going through a phase." 
 
But the "little guy" knows that it's more profound than that, that he is 
turning into a different person, the adult he will be, and affectionate attempts 
to obscure this feel suffocating. So he's either sullen or outspokenly angry. 
Of course, there *are* ways that he is still the same person he will always be, 
and there *are* ways Orthodoxy and (e.g.)Lutheranism share beliefs and 
practices-- definitely so, not least that each loves the same Lord. But the impulse 
is to exaggerate the differences when you fear being hugged to death.
 
But lately I've been feeling restless because this explaining and clarifying 
is *so* not what I want to be doing. I don't want to be putting more argument 
into the world. I look at the essays on my website, and there are about 400 of 
them, and most are arguing about something. But what I want to be doing is 
presenting the beauty of Jesus Christ. I want to show people how it's possible 
to know him in this life, to know his immediate presence, to be suffused with 
his love. 
 
It will sound strange, but I think some of the people who most need to hear 
this good news are evangelical Christians. Someone wrote me yesterday: <<They 
are promised changed lives in the Spirit and exhorted to submit everything to 
Christ but have absolutely no idea how this comes to be. They are ever 
searching for that one next book or great preacher that will have the answers, but 
never find the solution. Many live in a perpetual state of despair; some even 
theologize it away so despair becomes the normative setting for Christian life. >>
 
There is a lot of restlessness and dissatisfaction in evangelicalism right 
now, and what people are craving is to know Jesus. He really is life. He really 
is love. There is so much joy here. But I can't find a way to talk about this 
without sounding silly.
 
What I found in Orthodoxy is the ancient biblical "way" to be filled with the 
presence of Christ. I'm talking about "Orthodoxy" the way someone could say 
"Buddhism" or "Calvinism" -- talking abt the understanding it has, the 
spiritual path, rather than any particular example of the earthly Orthodox Church. 
Before I became Orthodox I didn't know this "way" existed. This is the "best kept 
secret" people are always talking about. 
 
It actually took me several years grasp it, but the early church uncovered a 
"way" to be saturated with God, like a cloth is saturated with dye. As this 
way was carried around the world by missionaries, it became clearer which parts 
were expressions of local culture, and which parts were universally 
applicable, effective for any human being anywhere, any time. This "way" is designed to 
heal a basic brokeness in the human person. It's tailored to the human 
organism, it "works" for everybody like nutritious food and water do. 
 
It "works" for those who "work" it, of course. There are lots of people with 
health club memberships who never set foot in the place. Likewise, there are 
plenty of Orthodox churchgoers who are not pursuing this path. Maybe they were 
never taught about it, sadly enough. But if you want to find it, the places to 
try are Orthodox churches and monasteries, because that's where it's always 
been practiced and passed along. Before Orthodoxy I'd done lots of exploration 
in Western spirituality, and I can recognize some common elements (the West is 
later overall, the best-known texts aren't till after 1300, and influences 
like feudalism and intellectualism color it). But in Orthodoxy the spiritual 
path is organic, electric, synergistic; and it has never passed out of practice. 
This is not archeology, but stepping into a living community 2000 years old. 
 
So this is what I wish I could spend all my time talking about. Not even 
talking about the Orthodox "way" as much as talking about Jesus! It's only a "way" 
to see the beauty of his face. To be taken up into his life and be filled 
with his love, able to love even your enemies. But the posts on this thread sure 
show how easy it is to misunderstand Jesus, and how damaged people can be by a 
weak or erroneous presentation of him. Lots of healing is necessary. 
 
That's what I want to write about. I want to help people discover this way. 
It's what I was looking for all my life. But it's so hard to write about, bec 
it sounds sentimental or flaky. I keep struggling with this. In the meantime I 
keep getting asked the "compare and contrast" questions, and keep trying to 
explain. 
 
Not long ago a journalist phoned me from the New Republic, and he wanted to 
know about the politics behind why people leave Anglican churches for 
Orthodoxy. At the end of the long conversation it struck me what we *hadn't* talked 
about. I said "But all this is not the point. What draws people into Orthodoxy, 
and what keeps them there,  is the person of Jesus Christ. He is there, and the 
more you draw near him, the more compelling and beautiful it is. Orthodoxy 
practices an ancient 'way' to draw nearer to him, and he is the magnet at the 
center. Without this vibrant love flowing from and toward Jesus Christ, 
Orthodoxy would be pointless." 
 
Even saying the words I could hear how ineffective they were. and naturally 
the reporter didn't ask any followup questions or indicate any interest. The 
thing people can write about is political infighting; they can't write about 
this. It's embarrassing. Smarmy. Idiotic. 
 
Anyway, I ask prayers that I will discover how to write about the thing I 
love most, instead of arguing. I've got a trunkful of old spiritual journals 
going back decades. I keep thinking I'd like to just transcribe them, and present 
how God has dealt with me all my life, how beautiful he is, what his healing 
is like, how much joy. But whatever I think of writing sounds like a Hallmark 
card. 




********
Frederica Mathewes-Green
www.frederica.com



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